旁白: Three visits to the cottageis a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding
militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched
cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military
adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped
the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the
Shu Kindom.But today`s story is a little different as history. Now let’s go into the alternative history. Wish you will like it.
SCENE 1第一幕 [In Zhu Geliang`s house]
屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着
诸：Ha!ha!ha!ha!,guys!Come to see the cleverest person in the world.Everybody know.My name(竖起大拇指，指着自己) — Zhu Geliang！（望着地上皱眉）唉！Buliang！Buliang！
不：Yes,sir!I know!It is the time for me to introduce myself.(朱不亮大摇大摆准备进行自我介绍) My name is……
诸：What’s the hell!Go to sweep the floor.(大声，命令式)
不：Sorry!Sorry!Sir!猪不亮扫地(清唱SJ的sorry两三句)
两人下
SCENE 2 [On the road]
【可穿插一下段四大才子出场画面】
花痴1：Oh,it`s so boring!
花痴2：Yes,it is.
花痴3：Look,the three are there!(拉着同伴兴奋状)
三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）
花痴1：It`s them, it`s them,it`s really them!
花痴2：How handsome they are!I am dizzying!
三人正沿路走着，停
飞，秀肌肉：Yeah!Yeah!Look at this!(露出肌肉)
走，（刘备抛飞吻，兴奋过度晕倒，其余两花痴将2拖下）三人走到舞台后方
刘走上前，手指观众：Do you love me?Yes！Do you know who I am?My name is Bei Bei!（瞪大双眼，眼睛放电，边转身边脱镜，潇洒的）走到后方
关走上前（神情凝重，声音低沉）：I am the most handsome man in the world! I am Guan Guan! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!(捋胡子，走到刘备处)
张：（日语）Who wants to fight with me?Give me one pound!I can show you my power!(边说边拍胸脯，在power那露出肌肉)
刘关在张快说完时走上前，站在一起
刘关张：Listen! Boys!To prevent earth form being destroyed,to make a peaceful world.刘：Bei！关：Guan！张：Fei！刘关张：We are the three brothers of peach garden!(摆pose)
SCENE 3[In Zhugeiliang’s house]
诸、不，上
诸：Good day！Today，right？Buliang！I am so tired！Make a cup of tea for me！（不，端茶，诸喝）Call me if anyone wants to see me.(诸睡)
不：Yes, sir.
诸、不下
刘关张上
刘: A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.
[饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙]
伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气
刘: En? It dosen’t burn on. What’s wrong with you,Fei!(生气地)
张:Sorry,master. Let’s try again.(再点一次)
刘：Oh!You son of bitch ,you have burnt me.(捂脸 )
张: Sorry！I have a bad eyesight.
关：ok!ok!Get back to the main point!We are going to invite Mr Zhu.Now,it’s time to go.
关：Mr！We come here to invite Mr zhu,so can we have a interview with him?(恭敬的)
不：What a nuisance.Come here next time!I don't have the luxury to play with you.
飞：You bull shit!Come here.Let me give you some colour see see!(挥起拳头要打)
“pong！”不亮无情关上门，张飞撞上门。
飞：“Oh my jesus!”(捂着鼻子)
飞：（冲到门前锤门）Come here.Let me give you some colour see see!
刘关二人将张飞拖下台
SCENE 4第四幕 [In Zhu Geliang`s house]
三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品
关: I think we’ll manage it this time. (猥琐或奸诈状)
张: What? If you don’t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong
throat! （发出老虎的吼叫）
刘: Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention!
（张飞关羽照做稍息!立正!）
这边刘备训练着张关，舞台另一边。。。。
屋中，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了
诸: MY GOD！！ My God!! Why do you punish me?!
仆: Don’t be sad,my lord. As I know,our monitor Yao Min does’t pass the Math examination.
诸: What？our monitor does’t pass the Math examination？But,My English test also losed···
舞台另一边。。。
刘: You two! Be clever this time! （张飞关羽点头答应）
（门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门）
仆: Who’s this?
张: I come here to charge the bill of electricity
刘: Hi,We are here again,bother to notice your boss.
( 朱不亮呜咽，不答话)
张：Excuse me！
关：Excuse me！
刘：Hei！What’s wrong?(用手在朱不亮面前挥)
仆:Oh！Oh！（猛然惊醒状）I’m sorry, my boss didn’t pass the English examination and her girlfriend has gone with another man. Look at this.(用一只手指着另一只手的手掌心)This is a love letter which he just finished. Do you want to listen it?
(在朱不亮说话的同时，刘关张三人表现出惊讶状，张大嘴巴)
刘关张：Ok！（三人席地而坐）
仆： It’s doesn’t matter if you see me or not
I am standing right there with no emotion
It’s doesn’t matter if you miss me or not
The feeling is right there and it isn’t going anywhere
刘关听着诗一脸悲苦状，抹眼泪。张飞睡着。
朱不亮边吟诗边走到刘关张的身后，发现礼物，一脸贼样。
仆：Oh! There is a present, let me take it away.
(悄悄的用手遮着嘴对观众说)
刘：（突然发现朱不亮）You！You! What are you doing?(用手指朱不亮)
仆：Look！UFO！（用手指向前方）
刘关顺着方向看去，什么也没有，回头发现朱不亮跑了。
刘:（起身，两手摊开，愤怒加惊讶）What? ! What！?We have been cheated. Ah, come next time. Let’s go.
刘关二人往幕后走，突然
关：Where is Zhangfei? Look! he is sleeping there.(手指张飞)
刘备气冲冲走上前，重重拍了一下张飞的后背，张飞惊醒，起身
张：What happened!
刘：What are you doing? Don’t lose my face.
刘关二人打着张飞跑向幕后。
SCENE 5第五幕 [In Zhu Geliang`s house]
（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐，诸葛亮又赢了）
仆:Oh,boss! You are the man ! (做崇拜竖大拇指状)
诸: Hum！That’s a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Bei’s
corporation to find a job after Spring Festival.
仆: What? You said you wanna to go to Liu Bei’s company?
诸: En...That’s a good place in which I need not speak English.
仆: But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago. (诸葛亮作势要打他)
Anyone here? HELP ME! I believe,they will come again!
门铃响
仆:Stop！Speak of the devil and he doth appear.
（三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，仆人松了一口气，诸葛亮激动迎接）
诸: Hi,you man! I missyou so much!（拥抱）come on, take me away quickly! Come on,baby!
刘: Hei,boy,be calm.(拍拍诸葛亮的头，安抚小狗状) Since you trust
me so much,let me tell you generously, let’s go and do it!
（做西游记师徒四人出发状，放西游记音乐）
诸:Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will I get.. from you then.
(做贪财状)
张: It hurts feelings when it comes to money!
（恐吓状,拎着诸葛亮衣服后领拖着就走）
（猪不亮在后面拿着包袱，大喊）
仆: Oh, Please take me away too! （走路小沈阳状）
旁白：From then on, the four brothers run to the West and live a happy life together! But,that`s another story!
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